You Never Lose, You Either Win Or Learn
A loss is manageable. When we lose something or someone, there is behind all the pain, confusion and pride a lesson that will heal us completely on its own. The understanding of loss is linked to our ego’s arbitrary interpretations of it. Depending on how we relate to ourselves, we will either see the loss as bad luck or fate, or as a situation we can learn from. With the latter approach, you never lose, you either win or learn.
As Charles Dickens once said, “I learn what I need to learn from every failure.” Read on to discover with us the best tips for managing losses.
No one is really prepared for difficult events that are difficult to handle. Losses and failures are actually just what prepares us. Losses make us more complete and whole as human beings, and teach us important things about life, even if our ego had hoped for something else.
Everyone will sooner or later suffer the loss of relatives, friends or partners. Not wanting to confront or accept the loss is the real problem. We know that these things will happen, and once they do, we will learn something from them. There is no doubt that we will assimilate many lessons, as valuable as they are painful. Dealing with loss and realizing that you are either winning or learning something is a vital part of life.
Suffering is an aspect of life that cannot be eradicated, for chance and the influence of death will always be with us. Without them, life would not be complete. The pain of losing a relative and loved ones is part of the whole life process. Without it, life would not be life.
Acceptance is the key to dealing with loss, so that the natural pain does not lead to a continuous and prolonged suffering as a misaligned state of life.
In Viktor Frankl’s fantastic book Life must have meaning , he shows us loss from a more humanistic and adaptive perspective. The way in which man accepts his destiny and all the suffering it entails, adds a deeper and richer meaning to life. Even in the most difficult of circumstances, it is possible to maintain courage, dignity and generosity. If you forget or lose your human dignity, you will be the most destructive of all animals.
It is often an exceptionally difficult situation, such as the loss of a family member or the end of a relationship, that gives us the chance to grow spiritually and go beyond our boundaries. He who loses faith in his future is doomed and destitute, and his life will be filled with physical and mental apathy.
What we really can not afford to lose is ourselves. This should be our first and last priority, and should be of utmost importance in our lives.
What we learn when we lose someone or something is not always positive. We must also learn from the negative aspects of loss, because it is part of managing losses. In the case of emotional chaos, for example, loss can leave us with an irreversible mark on our ego, and this continues to take its toll even when our emotions are no longer alive.
Therefore, we must learn from the bad aspects of loss and focus on the good things that remain as a result of the whole situation. Only then can you ensure that you do not lose, but either win or learn.
From the moment we are born, we learn to own things and to be close to what and who we love to find security. But very few people help us know what to do or feel when we lose a loved one or experience other types of separations.
When we experience the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a dream or something material, the main cause of the pain is the bonds and fears we have embraced or generated during our lives.
To overcome the losses and become stronger, we should focus on the positive things that this can evoke in us. The most valuable thing in all this is the learning it offers us. A learning that will enable us to regain our strength and our desire to move forward in life; a lesson that makes you win or learn rather than lose.
