Why Do We Stay In Unhappy Relationships?
Relationships and love are not just about giving away boxes of chocolates on Valentine’s Day or doing many little things.
A healthy, stable relationship can make you a better person; a happier and healthier person. To achieve this, the couple must have communication, respect and good habits.
When communication, respect and good habits do not exist, unhappy relationships are born. Unfortunately, many people stay in these because they fall into the following behavior patterns…
Not paying attention to your intuition
Has the little voice in your head for a while told you that your partner is not who he or she seems?
It is very common in the beginning of a relationship that everything seems fantastic. This is part of the love that brings us closer to our partner. We usually minimize the person’s shortcomings and raise their positive qualities.
The problem begins when certain fairly unhealthy behaviors begin to appear or when we begin to see them, such as lying, acting strangely, and being overly jealous.
If you find yourself in this situation, stop pondering the question in your head, because you could end up in one of the unfortunate situations that no one wants.
Analyze the situation, and if you think that the relationship has really fallen into unhealthy behavior patterns, then you should seriously consider whether it is worth staying in it. Sometimes you can seek outside help, and sometimes it is better to end the relationship to avoid more serious problems in the future.
Anxiety about life in a relationship
If your family members are like mine, they will want to know when you are getting married. They will seem worried that you are single, regardless of your age or your goals in life. It is something very common and you have to learn to deal with it instead of becoming obsessed with the subject.
Many unfortunate circumstances are born of this anxiety. Both men and women can be tempted to start a relationship to avoid the constant questions.
When they are in a relationship, they begin to be pressured into marriage. Eventually they get married, and after a while they are surrounded by a marriage that they do not want.
The best thing you can do is not worry about outside pressure. If you are not ready now, simply explain this to the person asking. We all have our own time, and we must learn to respect it.
Resistance to leaving the “comfort zone”
This behavior may be related to the former, but they do not necessarily go hand in hand. Many people simply stay in conditions of comfort with the status quo, even if the love is gone.
Maybe they care about their partners, but they do not love them or there are things they really can not do, but they persevere because it is “easier” than dealing with the social press.
It may also be the case that there is no outside pressure. Perhaps your greatest hope is to get married and have children so that you can have a stable family. So you search and find a person who more or less wants the same thing. Most likely, the person does not live up to all your expectations, but since he or she is willing to give you what you want, you accept it.
As you can probably figure out, these are two situations that lead to unhappy relationships. At first they may work, but after a few years there will be too many problems.
How to change these behaviors
We all have intuition, even if we do not always pay attention to it. Paying attention to this intuition is the best way to avoid bad situations. You just have to listen to what your feelings say.
We always try to avoid pain and suffering. This is very normal. For this reason, we can do two things with unfortunate circumstances: Quit them or convince ourselves that all is well. To keep us healthy, it is best to end unhappy relationships.
It will not be easy, but you will take control of your life and have the opportunity to look for a relationship that really does you good.
Photos by Nicoletta Ceccoli, Claudia Tremblay and Melissa Copeland.
