What We Share On Social Media Does Not Reflect Our Mood

Sometimes there is a pathological distance between how you feel and what you share on social media. This can be a significant source of anxiety. These platforms give you the opportunity for almost instant gratification; a fast and effective dose of dopamine. However, as is the case with all short-term pleasures, you need to keep coming back for more. It can quickly become problematic.

Social media provides equal opportunities for everyone to share content. In return, you have to deal with this invisible pressure to keep your content fresh and interesting. In parallel, your motivation to please the audience leads you to avoid publishing things that are “boring” or “unpleasant”. You have these imaginary fans you want to please, which becomes a motivation to create an alternative reality.

This raises the question of how this emotional difference between what you share and how you feel affects your mental health.

A real danger

These days, many people rely on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, YouTube, Instagram or Tik Tok to keep in touch with others. While they can be fun, informative and useful, it is important to remember that social media does not replace human contact in the real world.

You need human contact to trigger hormones that relieve stress and make you feel happier, healthier and more positive. Too much time on social networks can aggravate mental problems such as anxiety and depression.

Negative consequences of social media

• That you feel that your life is not good enough. Even if you know that the pictures you see on social media do not show the whole story, it is easy to feel insecure.
• “Fear of missing out” (FOMO). FOMO existed before social media came along, but Facebook and Instagram tend to reinforce the idea that everyone else enjoys life more than you. The notion that you are missing out on certain things can affect your self-esteem, cause anxiety and further increase your use of social media.
• Insulation. A study from the University of Pennsylvania found that increased use of Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram makes people feel lonely. Reducing the use of social media, on the other hand, can make you feel less alone and less isolated. It enhances your overall feeling of well-being and satisfaction.

• Depression and anxiety. People need (and enjoy) face-to-face contact. There is nothing better to reduce stress and improve your mood than to spend time IRL with someone you care about.
• Cyberbullying. About 10% of all teenagers report that they have been abused or bullied on social media. A large number of users also report that they are targets for offensive and rude comments.
• Self-absorption. Sharing selfies and intimate thoughts on social media can lead to unhealthy egocentrism. It can also distance you from making positive connections with others in the real world.

The pathological distance between how you feel and what you share on social media can cause anxiety

Social media can be problematic if they directly contribute to a reduction in the quality or frequency of face-to-face interaction. The same is true if they distract you from your work, make you feel sad or jealous, or if you use social media to make other people jealous. If any of these apply to you, it may be time to reconsider your use of these platforms.

One of the potentially most problematic factors is not how often you publish, but how honest you are when you share things. Talking about how happy you are on social media when you are having a hard time can increase feelings of anxiety.

Do you feel obligated to post?

Most of us have a small, loyal audience on social media. You probably only have an actual relationship with about 10% of the people who follow you (or those you follow). Some even try to make extra money by being “influencers”. In other words, there is probably nothing that forces you to share things on social media.

The best thing you get out of being active on social media is the satisfaction of sharing information and content on certain topics. The effect your content has often depends more on what your followers think of you than the actual message you share or how you share it.

As we said above, social media are platforms to showcase all the best moments in your personal and professional life. However, activity on social media rarely has any long-term, positive impact on your well-being. On the contrary, it is quite common to feel pressure to post content, as if it were an animal you have to feed. This type of pressure is problematic if it causes anxiety.

The wedding day

Here is an example. Imagine a man getting married. He is excited about his wedding day and looks forward to sharing photos from the event. But when the day comes, things start to go wrong from the start. It is very hot, he quarrels with his partner at the reception and his back hurts like never before.

He probably still feels happy despite these minor setbacks. The fact remains, however, that the day is not as he expected. He therefore does not feel like sharing the pictures on social media. But at the same time, he feels that if he does not do it soon, people will ask questions and he will feel uncomfortable. Finally, he posts a snapshot from the reception where he looks happy and satisfied. This is a hypothetical situation, but it happens in many different forms every day. You post things that depict emotions that you do not really feel.

Distrust and rejection

Is this the kind of life you want to live? You may be exposed to rejection and mistrust of your social media-self is too different from your real self. Not even so-called “influencers” can avoid this kind of mistrust from people in their circle, even if they justify it by arguing that it is how they support themselves.

A gap between what you really think and feel and what you post on social media can cause significant psychological discomfort. It also risks pathologizing your emotions, how you perceive things and your behaviors, which can have long-term consequences.

We are not talking about ending your engagement on social media altogether. Instead, try to reflect on how you use them. Do they do more harm than good? Do they increase your well-being or do they cause anxiety and problems with your self-esteem? Social networks seem to be here to stay, so remember that it is a continuous process to learn from them and learn about yourself. It is your own choice if you want to show who you really are instead of creating a fake life to try to prove your worth.