What Is The Difference Between Love And Need?

It is often difficult for us to define what love is because it is used in so many different situations. Because of that, it might be better to start defining what love is not.

When confronting certain situations in your life, you need to ask yourself if you really know the difference between love and need. Do you really know what love is and how it differs from need?

Talking about “love”, in all its forms, is complicated because we use this word to exaggerate in areas that are really about something completely different.

Since there is obviously more than just a word, so maybe we should start emphasizing what love is not is instead of trying to find a definitive definition.

Love is NOT…

The word “love” (if you define it, it is not love).
Possession (if you possess something, it also possesses you).
Thinking ( do not think that you love; love is something you practice ).
Self-interest ( where there are ulterior motives, there is no love; love is not a commodity, love only is ).

Necessity (love does not exist to cover gaps in your ego).
Temporary (it is not in you, but you are in it , always in the present).

A couple is NOT about…

Be a couple, without being free.
Give promises to each other, without both taking the helm.
Sign something, but that both confirm your individual freedom in the relationship.

Further:

It does not require demonstrations, but communication.
You can not compare the “masks” and the image you have of each other.
It’s not “falling in love” – it’s just neurochemistry that will soon cease.

When it comes to couples and the many manifestations of love that exist, love is the most confusing.

This is because it is a transient condition that involves changes in the neurotransmitters (dopamine and norepinephrine increase and serotonin decreases), which is similar to drug abuse.

Because of this, it is advisable to let this stage pass so that clear, rational decisions can be made.

According to psychologist John Bradshaw, in order to have a long-term relationship, one must go through the love phase and arrived in a state of “friendship”.

There is a well-used study of how couples remember things in this regard and how their thoughts changed. Holmberg and Holmes (1994) interviewed 400 married couples who said they worked well and were in love.

Two years later, they were interviewed again. The couple who separated or whose situation worsened said that the relationship was bad from the beginning. This allows us to see that one can easily build memories outside of reality that justify one’s decision.

The difference between love and need: what a relationship should be

To be able to express oneself in all ways.
Freedom to be oneself
Imagination, surprises and unconditional support.
Respect for oneself and one’s partner.
To drive over the pits of life and check each other’s tires.
Not devotion, but liberation.

As the years go by , freedom seems to disappear and judgment, pride and ego increase. To this we can add the problem of technology, where superficial communication is often preferred over human contact.

The obsession with giving gifts and receiving recognition increases, as does the decadence. In addition, one becomes more and more in love with physical exhibitionism on social and mobile networks.

As a result , more and more people need treatment and therapy for these problems.

Institutionalization as an obstacle to love

Institutionalization

Love should not be locked into temples, sects, religions, fashions, rites or philosophies. Do you really think that you can stamp or classify freedom?

This is why love has no free zones, because you can find it where you are not looking for it and it appears when you remove obstacles.

Just as you must open the curtains to let in the light, you must also realize that you are living in the dark in search of freedom and love.

Results

A nightingale does not sing for people to applaud – its naturalness adds beauty to its melodies.

Sometimes we think that love is the result of our hard work. But here we’re talking about removing things – the obstacles – rather than the effort you think you have to make.

This also happens with hobbies and attitudes. We are not taught to love what we do, but to love the results and seek recognition.

Instead, you should learn to seek the beauty of natural passion, which is born out of harmony with the environment and does not have specific goals you must achieve.

Conditioning

You should break with and question all the states that capture and hide the capacity to love that you have within you.

Do you just do what others expect or do you do what you actually want to do for yourself?

Some people are so obsessed with identifying with a flag, a symbol or an ideology that they love them more than people. They feel they have to identify with these things to feel special.

But shortcomings and emptiness arise when one is afraid of love. People choose these things because true love sweeps away everything they thought was safe.

Connection

The difference between love and need is not always clear and it is common for them to be mixed up. Many teens start relationships because their friends already have a boyfriend or girlfriend.

They believe that it is better to have a partner than to deal with loneliness, fear or avoidance, among other things. This shows how attachment can make us emotionally dependent on someone else.

Because love is freedom , attachment is an obstacle to love, and one must learn how to handle it. Sharing freedom makes us strong, but dependence on one’s partner creates distance to true love.

Your ego makes love disappear

In short , love shows up when your ego and its constant need for attention disappear into the background.

Many trains pass during life, but not all are beneficial to you. Your fellow passengers often blame you for your ideas. Take the train that suits you best and remember that you must first get off what you are sitting on.