The Secrets Of Maintaining A Liberating Dialogue

Knowing how to express oneself, and knowing how to speak and understand, is a true art form. There are many secrets when it comes to having a liberating dialogue. You need to learn how to navigate through silences, take breaks and talk at the right time. You also need to know how to listen and how to understand a person according to their circumstances.

When you talk about a “liberating dialogue”, you are talking about a type of conversation that really allows those involved to express themselves. Expressing oneself means overcoming obstacles to communication. A liberating dialogue means that everyone can communicate with authenticity.

Many dialogues can certainly be meaningless, but there are many others that are important. And it is very important to know what to say and what to hold back. You must speak the same language and create an honest bond within the conversation so that you have proper communication.

Silence is an important part of a liberating dialogue

Many people feel a great need to listen to them. That’s why they’re always talking and this can be a little uncomfortable for the people around them. This need to constantly communicate sometimes comes from egocentrism, but other times it is simply a stress disorder or a need to assert oneself.

Not everyone understands the importance of silence and not everyone understands that communication is something that goes both ways, where each person must be allowed to talk and know when to be silent. This is why many dialogues seem to be monologues.

It can be said that the first requirement for having a liberating dialogue is to have developed the ability to understand and appreciate silence. Not the kind of silence that can be interpreted as absence, but rather a type of silence that shows that the person is listening to you. It means paying attention and getting to know what the other person is saying.

A willingness to converse

A dialogue between two people is only genuine if there is a genuine intention to participate. This means that you are ready to listen, ready to make an effort to understand. In this way, it is not enough to be quiet when the other person is talking. It is about being mentally active during this silence.

When there is an authentic interest in a dialogue, a curious existence arises. You have to choose an occasion where you are not rushed. However, if you are in a hurry, it is important that you can control your emotions.

Active listening means that you are interested. It is not something that is limited to being quiet and just agreeing with what the other person is saying. It is instead about finding more information to clarify and better understand what the other person is saying. Questions are a good way to build bands and this also shows the other person that you are listening.

This means that you sit in other people’s shoes and understand how they feel when they express themselves. That one is aware of their emotions flowing through a non-verbal channel. For a liberating dialogue is something that goes beyond words; it also means that you can capture the emotions that arise during communication.

Judging someone is the death of every conversation

Talking like a judge, as if the other person was on trial, will never be the right way as this opens the door to fear and tension.

Nobody wants a dialogue with someone who judges. In a liberating dialogue, there may also be truths that you do not want to hear. Only in this way can a dialogue really be liberating. It is therefore not possible to have such a dialogue if one person tries to control another’s behavior.

It is also recommended that you inform yourself about the topic or problem in question before sharing your own opinion. In fact, the best arguments come from people who have been through the same problem and who have experience with the subject. Professional help is often the best option.

Let the dialogue flow

Achieving a high level of connection with another person is something fundamental. Listening attentively without interrupting is very healthy. However, we often interrupt the conversation because we forget certain points that the other person has said.

In such cases, it is best to note the most important points and let the other person talk continuously. When the person has stopped talking, you can go through the points raised and express your own opinions, without making the dialogue something strict for that matter.

The atmosphere in the conversation can also be important. If the topic you are going to talk about is something sensitive or requires a certain level of attention, it is best to find a private place where you will not be interrupted. In this way, the flow of dialogue is improved.

Five practical tips

Based on what we have previously discussed, there are five basic rules that can be applied for a dialogue to be liberating for everyone involved:

• Looking for the right time and place. You should not have to hurry and you should not be interrupted.
• Agree on the topic. Although it may sound strange, conversations can often fail because the topic being discussed has not been defined. If both people are aware of this, they can make kind reminders to return to the topic when the other person has gone beyond it.
• Suggest a goal. What’s the point of the conversation? It is good to establish this to avoid authoritarian goals. The goal should never be “so that you change” or “so that you stop being this way” or “so that everything works”. The dialogue should instead focus on achieving a better understanding of certain points.

• Agree on basic rules. For example, not to interrupt the other person during the communication and to establish a time limit for each post. This may seem artificial at first, but it is important to make the conversation flow.
• Talk about yourself and not the other person. This is a very healthy rule: express what you feel and do not refer to what the other person feels.