The Bitterness Of Impossible And Unsatisfied Loves
Who has not had one? One of the impossible loves that you know only exists for you. Idealized, highly prized, which can just as easily be made of porcelain because you know they will crash into the wall of reality. The reality that, despite the abundance, makes them real. Nowadays, it is less common to experience unsatisfied loves – that is, answered loves that reality for many reasons does not allow you to enjoy.
These two types of love are easily mixed up, but they do not mean the same thing. In fact, they have different characteristics that have to do with emotions. They have to do with circumstances that go beyond the very feeling of love, which we will soon see.
The first type of love that hurts is impossible loves. The kind of love that one person feels for another, but which is unanswered. For it to be impossible, a trait must also be that it will never be answered. “I can not feel the same way for you.”
In these cases, people usually say that the person we have fallen in love with is the only one who can make us feel two emotional extremes. We see the person as someone who can give us all the happiness we need. But at the same time, this person is the one who takes it away from us. For said happiness will only arrive when love is answered.
Impossible loves bring with them a constant feeling of discomfort and sadness. We can not avoid feeling what we feel for the person, but still we can not express what we would like. From this point of view, the bitterness of experiencing this love is enhanced when we imagine what it would be like if our love were answered.
The second group is what the author Gabriel Garcia Marquez calls unsatisfied loves. He uses this term in his short story Love in the Time of Cholera. With it , he refers to the love you experience and which hurts you, which is answered but which does not seem to be able to take shape due to external circumstances.
In other words, unsatisfied love is one that is perfect, but will not be able to progress for various reasons: incompatibility, family pressure, friendships you do not want to destroy, fear of emotional dependence, etc. It is thus a tragic love, comparable to that between Romeo and Julia.
It has been said that this kind of love is the worst of all because the two people who love each other feel frustration. “I want, we want, and we can not.” Both know that the other person understands and complements, that they love each other for who they really are. But they do not know how to overcome the obstacles.
Unsatisfied loves are characterized primarily by powerlessness, which is transformed into suffering for both parties. They know that their paths have been crossed “for your own good, for my own good, for our own good, because of the circumstances,” and that they will only be able to unite with incredible effort.
If a love is not answered or simply can not develop, then, as we have seen, it becomes bitter. But the types of love that do not go beyond idealization then? We are talking about platonic loves, which we include here to distinguish them from those we mention above.
These also do not take the step into Cupid’s famous world. Unlike impossible and unsatisfied loves, they are not ideal at all. They go no further than the imagination. They are never experienced as true love, because they do not hurt.
