Sometimes The Best People Come Without You Looking

Sometimes the best people show up as if out of nowhere and without us looking. They come to plant flowers in the garden of our sad days, to be the echo of our laughter, the magnet for our confidence, our affection and our passion. They are the lighthouse that never goes out, without contradictions, pressure and ulterior motives…

Neuropsychologists often remind us that the brain is programmed to behave in a way that benefits the social. Actions such as altruism, helping fellow human beings or providing support are realities we consider to be genetically significant and important because they ultimately guarantee the survival of the species.

But, and here comes the greatest dissonance or irony of humanity, sometimes we act as predators against our fellow human beings. We do not only refer to the extreme behaviors that reach the front pages of newspapers, but to ordinary actions we have all experienced at some point.

We talk about the actions that produce the classic: “I want you to be happy, but not happier than me.” Sometimes altruism has ulterior motives, we are well aware of that. Other times people let us down; we know that too.

Maybe it’s because times change or because our masks slowly fall off and expose the fact that what fascinated us before is just full of emptiness, limitations and bottomless selfishness.

Despite all this, there are people in our rich and complex social fauna who are not only worth the trouble, but worthy of happiness. Finding them is an art that is always based on chance, but it also includes some aspects that are worth taking into account…

What are the traits of the men and women who can improve our lives – the best people? How are good people really? We know that it is common in everyday life to say things like ” my co-worker is a bad person” or “my sister is a very good person”.

These types of extremely simplified definitions are not always sufficient because humanity is much more complex than these absolute terms suggest. The majority of us are in a spectrum where we can sometimes act in a more or less correct way. Sometimes we can quickly be judged as “bad people” just because we do not act as people want or expect.

But keep in mind that there are a series of key factors or dimensions that can define these noblest of profiles. These ultimately represent an ideal of goodness that we all have in mind.

To be good is above all to lack egocentrism. It is to identify with our fellow human beings, to feel compassion, to act disinterestedly and to have the kind of empathy that offers protection, support and true closeness. So the good person can even look beyond the surface, beyond simple appearances.

On the other hand, but no less important, there is one factor we must not neglect: the best people only come into our lives if we are receptive. They will do so if we can recognize them and appreciate their influence, their art, their natural ability to connect.

Experts in social behavior have revealed to us that we have come to a point where we are more aware of the negative qualities than the good ones. This negative inclination is sometimes caused by our own discomfort, our own frustration, or even the memory of our failed relationships.

We become suspicious, and when suspicion obscures our vision and makes itself at home in the heart, it will be very difficult to discern the warm light of the individuals who are truly worthy of inclusion in our lives.

Friends not only make life more joyful and colorful; They also play a vital role in your health and well-being.

We all read quickly by people in the environment during our everyday lives. Rick Hanson – a well-known neuropsychologist and veteran researcher in the “science of happiness” – explains how to connect more deeply with fellow human beings.

To do that and to perceive the innate nobility that many people hide, we must stop, slow down our rhythm, and read the positive intentions and true empathy that the best people have.

Below we will give you some simple keys that will help you with this reading of people:

• Non-verbal language: we often see empathy in the face and in the eyes that not only looks, but also observes, is attentive and knows how to connect by making us comfortable, safe and valued.
• The second aspect is definitely our own intuition. Our inner voice is always what should guide us along the path of discovery. It is the one that contains the essence of our personality, the knowledge from our previous experiences and the sixth sense that invites us to connect with certain people and avoid others. Do not be afraid to listen to your inner voice.

• Emotional strategy. This dimension is as strange as it is intense. At the same time, however, it is necessary to identify it within us and analyze it. There are people who produce a special kind of emotional burden within us through their tone, their gaze, their smile, in the way they communicate with us…

This feeling of emotional energy that some people produce within us is something we should be aware of and interpret (do they make me feel comfortable? Do they offer me peace and harmony? Can I really trust them…?)

Sometimes this connection is immediate; sometimes it has a different rhythm, slower and more determined, but just as intense. It’s like an interesting treasure we discover every day and which we generally tend to find in introverted personalities.

The best people, who make our lives more beautiful, more interesting and special, are gifts we all deserve, and above all, the ones we are obligated to take care of.

So let’s do it, let’s always give the best version of ourselves to the special people who light up our daily lives.