Philophobia: Fear Of Love
There are many types of phobias, such as emetophobia, fear of vomiting; phagophobia, fear of eating or swallowing; gynophobia, fear of women; and sobphobia, fear of the dark. But one of the most interesting and unknown fears is philophobia. Most people experience love as a hopeful experience that fills one with life and optimism, but for people who suffer from this ailment, this is not the case at all.
Philophobia is an anxiety disorder (from the Greek filo, which means love, and phobia, which means fear) whose name means “fear of love”, and although the exact causes are unknown, it seems that it may be linked to previous love relationships such as has left a painful mark on the individual. It could be a divorce or a painful breakup that was experienced in a traumatic way. It can also be about getting used to living alone for a long time and being intimidated by the new situation. It can even occur due to a lack of affection during childhood. The victims themselves claim that “the situation overwhelms them”. This causes them to experience unbridled fear, which prevents them from starting new relationships. When they feel that they are falling in love, they drown in panic and dismiss the situation, which often baffles the other party.
The problem is that people with philophobia can not avoid getting nervous when faced with people they are attracted to. Dizziness, vomiting, nausea, tremors, panic attacks and a desire to escape are some of the most common symptoms, but of course they differ from person to person. The thought of these symptoms makes the person want nothing more than to get rid of the situation as quickly as possible. The philophobic refuses to go through one of life’s most satisfying experiences: to fall in love and experience love.
How does the philophobia act in the field of love? People who suffer from philophobia tend to look for shortcomings in the people they are attracted to. They tend to search for impossible love or choose people they know in advance will abandon them… and all this to justify to themselves and others that if they are not with anyone, it is because they can not find the right person.
But is there any treatment for philophobia? Specialists recommend that the first thing you do is admit that you are suffering from philophobia. One should confront the situation without fleeing – living in the present without thinking about the future. To learn that risks are a part of life, that every love affair is unique and irreplaceable and that we miss unique experiences. That the consequences are normally much less serious than we imagine or that there are stages in life, and that love has now knocked and we must open. To be aware that love may or may not last a lifetime, but that the fun we had cannot be taken away from us because the person in question is worth the pain. These are the keys to tackling philophobia. It is important to be open about the problem without shame or fear, and to consult a psychologist if we can not solve the situation ourselves.
You can only enjoy life by living it. If we just sit in the waiting room, we will never experience anything, neither good nor bad. If we succeed in overcoming our philophobia, we will be much happier with ourselves, our self-esteem will grow and we will probably be happier. Overcoming barriers makes us stronger and braver.
Picture from denetalia_maroz.
