People Do Not Change; They Were Never The Ones We Thought
You do not really know how this happens, but one fine day you will open your eyes. It may have been that you lived 5 months with someone or 5 years before you notice what reality is like, with all its rawness. People do not change; they are not the ones we thought.
And on these occasions, many dreams are shattered, because you have lived with the mask of illusion or with a blind love that has prevented you from appreciating reality.
It is true that there are times when people can change. Circumstances and experiences change us. However, we all have a special essence, a type of personality, integrity and values that are constant over time.
It is in our hands to discover this over time, to learn to read gestures and understand the idea behind the words, to read what lies behind the actions. Love is often a bad filter when it comes to being objective, but one should always have an open heart and feet on the ground.
Attached at the roots of self-defense.
People do not change, but they disguise themselves
At first, we all try to fit in. For example, there are many who try to fit their edges and voids with their partner so that everything is harmonious and almost perfect…
Sooner or later, the first disappointment will manifest itself. You do not know how and you also do not understand how the other person has been able to say or do this thing, but it has nevertheless happened and you can not do anything to change it.
A little on the roof, things will be discovered. This will show the right essence, the right personality.
What has happened then? How can a person be so different now compared to before? We must accept the following: people do not change from one day to the next. The reality is that there are people who are not what we first thought.
And discovering this can be daunting.
Our resistance to see the truth when it comes to our loved ones
How can you accept that a person you like is not what you first thought? Whether you believe it or not, these situations are very common in daily life, and this does not only occur in relationships. It happens in friendships and also in many families.
There is no magic formula that allows you to immediately see how another person is. Many times he does not even know this himself. You have to spend time with people and experience things in order to be able to shed light on certain aspects of them. There are some aspects that you should think a little extra about:
Avoid being the one with a blindfold
There are many who go through life with a blindfold on and it is something that one should try to avoid.
Avoid idealizing. Find conclusions through words, actions, gestures and even silence. A person does not show how he is with the posters he shows, but with the small details that you can see for yourself.
Do not expect anyone to change for you
This is a mistake that many people often make. It can sometimes be the case that you have already understood beforehand what a person is like. You get to know the person’s defects, you know that something can hurt you… But you still believe that the person will change.
And this is something that usually does not happen; people do not change and they do not change their personalities, habits and needs. You wait and wait while your self-esteem decreases. This is something dangerous.
Photos by Catrin Welz-Stein.
