Is Your Parenting Style Based On Positive Authority?

Some paradigms, such as authority, seem to change with each new generation in this ever-changing world. Logically, many parents wonder if they are exercising it in a good way, that is, using what is termed positive authority. In other words, they wonder if they use a good parenting style to educate their children.

In the past, it was common for a family to have a working father and a mother living at home. Her job was to raise the children. This is no longer the case because it is much more common for both parents to work.

There are many new complex circumstances, ranging from stress caused by lack of resources to anxiety that long working days give rise to. This is because parents are away from home, which means they do not spend enough time with their children. In addition, the little time they spend with their offspring often makes them tired or leaves them in a bad mood.

All this causes restlessness, insecurity and anxiety. There is thus guilt and lack of energy to deal with the difficulties that arise. And that is when doubts arise about parenting, boundaries for children, discussions and, in short, family dynamics.

What exactly is positive authority?

Many parents shudder when they hear the word “authority.” This is because a certain suspicion surrounds a term that people do not fully understand. In fact, many adults are afraid of being considered authoritarian.

What exactly is “authority”? Obviously, children need boundaries and someone to apply them. How to do it? Well, the voice is an important part of it, because it must be steady and confident. There must be no gap or threat or punishment and absolutely no physical and verbal aggression.

It seems that authority is necessary for a healthy coexistence. The thing is, you have to banish the negative connotations that come with it. That is, be clear but stay positive and calm while encouraging healthy conversations.

Now you know that positive authority is teaching responsibility to children. Thus , both parents and children must accept boundaries, the need to act responsibly and the incorporation of both rights and obligations into their daily activities.

Ways to teach children to take responsibility through positive parenting

Let’s see what you can do for your children in this regard.

Clear rules

Communication with children is fundamental for them to understand their rights and obligations. This is why it is important to try to clearly convey the specific rules that a child must follow.

For example, it will not do much good to tell the child that it is okay. Instead, be specific and say, for example, “It is important that you keep your room clean.” Then help the child understand why it should keep its room clean and why it must behave in a certain way. Thus , the child understands better and will of course also learn to negotiate and reach agreements.

Consistent rules

Consistency is key in this whole process, especially if the child is older. Then there will be times when parents have to sit down and negotiate.

The child is more likely to follow the rules if they are fair. This also helps the child to accept the positive authority of the adults and consider them to be fair.

Clear consequences and positive authority

It is important that children become aware of the consequences of their actions, both positive and negative. For example, there is a great risk that they will not find their toys if they do not store them where they belong. So it’s not up to you, the adult, to keep them organized for them.

Thus, when the child loses his favorite toy or does not get ice cream because he has not eaten ready, it becomes easier for him to understand that certain actions lead to negative consequences. The child will learn that it is always better for it to acknowledge positive authority.

Age-adapted negotiation

You need to be sensitive to your children’s developmental stage as a parent. It is logical to think that you can not expect the same result from a five-year-old as you would expect from a ten-year-old.

That is why it would be smart to take this into account when negotiating with your little ones about their needs, opportunities, rights, obligations, routines, etc.

Exception

In addition, you must also value exceptions as an adult. You need to get to know your children in order to know their limits, talents, desires and real opportunities to get them to follow certain rules.

Thus, you need to make decisions based on how your children are. Then you know if it’s a good idea to make an exception.

Recognition and positive authority

It is always good to acknowledge your mistakes as a parent. In addition , you should also validate the efforts children make to perform their chores. And of course, you should allow them to make mistakes so that you can use it as a learning experience.

Parenting based on positive authority presupposes that you understand your children’s weaknesses and strengths. For this purpose, you need balance, knowledge, time, good predisposition and humor to know how to handle your authority. Always have it close at hand so that you can resolve tensions and lead your family life along the most appropriate path.