In Love I Want Wings To Fly And Roots To Grow

In all relationships, we must try to create a sufficient balance between what is mine and what is yours, whether it is a love affair, relationships with our children or even a friendship.

It seems like a rather complex process, but in reality the magic of every healthy, essential and human relationship is based on respect and the other person’s best interests, while taking care of ourselves.

To offer wings so that they can fly is to let our loved ones choose their own spaces, nurture their hobbies and develop themselves every day to achieve personal fulfillment. If they are happy with themselves, they will transfer the positive energy to you. We create together, respect each other’s space and necessities, while also taking root.

Taking root in our relationships does not in any way mean “mastering” or “controlling”. To nurture our roots is to nurture our daily affection, respect and love to create a single unity. This is what unites us; it is the roots that we create together and which in turn help us to grow into two souls in one body.

“In love, I want wings to fly with and roots to grow with.” There may be people who choose one dimension or another on a personal level, but true happiness in our social and emotional relationships can be guaranteed to be found in this “magical” balance.

Wings to fly with and roots to grow with in our conditions

Let’s start by talking about love relationships. We invite you to make a simple reflection: In the relationship you are in now or as you had in the past, could you develop as a person? Did you share bands that offered freedom as well as protection and support?

If not, if the relationship is not capable of developing over time as your needs change, the roots will weaken. Personal frustration will emerge; a negative feeling that will not only be reflected towards yourself, but sometimes also towards your partner.

In these cases, we refer to “disharmonious growth”. Here, only one person’s needs are prioritized, or the relationship itself has remained in the same spot. It has tried to take root by thinking only of the relationship itself, and not of the personal growth of individuals.

For example, we start a relationship full of emotions and intense passion. We focus so much on each other that we leave all other friendships behind, to the point where we both dislike getting out of the circle of intimacy we have created.

Over time, these conditions become black holes that live on themselves until they self-destruct.

It is very important that we keep these dimensions in mind in order to maintain a sufficient balance:

1. Personal growth

• I have to be aware of myself, what is here and now, and what I need.

• I am responsible for my own personal growth
• I need to be enriched by everything around me, by my everyday experiences, by conversations, travels, writings, by all life has to offer me, including my partner.

2. The growth of the relationship

• My personal growth affects the growth of the relationship itself. If I am happy and satisfied with what I am and have, I will give all these positive feelings to the person I love.
• We need to have a continuous dialogue about our growth, because every couple needs to renovate their ties as time goes on and new situations arise (birth of children, changes or loss of a job).

• We should keep a balance between the individual and common goals, offer mutual help to each other and thereby make our roots grow while we offer each other wings.

Wings to fly with and roots to grow with in raising children

To raise happy children, offer them wings to fly with, roots to come back to you with and the assurance that they will always have you by their side on their journey towards becoming responsible and independent people.

We often talk about the need to avoid emotional bonding in order to enjoy emotional freedom. And it is true that there are some toxic bonds that make us cling to things that ultimately dominate us. But it is important to understand that bonds can also be part of our own roots.

We refer to the healthy bonds that children establish with their families to create bonds. And bands generate security if we fill them with air, life and confidence so that they can open their wings and fly away whenever they want.

Wherever their hearts and dreams lead them, they always know that they can trust their roots, which offer them an origin and infinite camp. Therein lies the magic of balance; in offering a love that makes them fly while they grow.