I’m The Protagonist In My Own Story

I’m the protagonist of my own life, I’m not what others push me to be. I am responsible for what I do and say, not for what others understand. My virtues define me. I love myself for who I am, with every defect, with every madness I like, with every mistake I make and every shadow I embrace every now and then to heal my scars…

Self-acceptance is a complex task. It is often at the top of the list when we write our list of things we must accomplish with invisible ink, as a person writing their good intentions at the beginning of the year. Without realizing it, there comes a day when we look in the mirror and feel a sudden and inexplicable needle stick. Are we really the person we see reflected in the mirror? How can mirrors show us a clear and perfect picture of ourselves when we feel so “broken down”?

Something very interesting arises in people who have not worked with their self-acceptance and that is that they often hold others responsible for their misfortune. These are people who have not integrated all the personal and affective dimensions that define a person. They blame others for their misfortune and discomfort almost automatically, and often with a sad and resigned attitude.

For example: if I can not find a good partner, I guess it is because no one believes in committing anymore. When I fail an exam, it’s because the teacher does not like me. If I do not have good friends, it is because people are fake and ungrateful. When I’m wrong about something, it’s because the person explained it to me in a bad way. If I feel insecure it is because of my family…

People with this type of attitude spread the origin of their frustrations to everyone around them. There are therefore few exercises that can be more healthy and therapeutic such as taking control and declaring yourself as the protagonist in your own story. This is done by saying that “I am the protagonist and declare myself responsible for who I am and what I do”.

I am the protagonist who takes personal responsibility for achieving happiness

To declare oneself responsible for who one is, for what one does and what one thinks is a process. Personal responsibility means above all that you do not blame others for your own misfortune. It also means that you can discover different ways to achieve balance and well-being, despite the negativity that you may be surrounded by.

At this point, you may be wondering if this means you can be happy no matter what the circumstances. What happens if I have an illness? What if my relationship is stormy and unstable?

The answer to these questions is very simple. To be responsible for oneself is to understand that there are things we cannot control. A physical illness is a good example of this. What makes the difference in this case, in addition to knowing how to accept it, is the ATTITUDE itself.

The person who sees himself as the protagonist in his own life and not as an actor understands that, in order to be happy, one must make decisions. Anything that gets in the way of this lowers self-esteem and distracts. It is better to leave these things and remember the commitment you have made in that brave moment. Once you have decided that “you have come to this world to be happy, do not waste your time on things that take away happiness”.

I’m the protagonist and I declare myself free

William Ury, a well-known anthropologist, has become famous through books such as The Way to the YES . According to this author, there are two basic areas that involve taking responsibility for oneself. First, we need to know how to take care of ourselves. We must be able to see the relationship between our actions and their consequences. Second, we must learn to respect the commitments we make to others.

Dr. Ury also suggests that in order to achieve this magical balance, one must give oneself this “YES”. We must validate ourselves as human beings. We must perceive ourselves as capable beings, beautiful beings, and that we are worthy of achieving what we are trying to achieve. He therefore recommends that we follow the following steps:

The 4 steps to personal responsibility

• Put yourself in your own situation. We have certainly during our lives focused a lot on others, on satisfying the needs of others. It is time that we listen to ourselves and that we think about our own feelings and values, and that we clarify what we want and what we do not want.

• Sign a contract with yourself. If you have not already done so, it is recommended that you do so as soon as possible. We should remember every day that we need to think about our needs no matter what others do.
• Being responsible for oneself also means that one learns to trust both one’s own abilities and one’s own destiny. Assume that there are things that come and go. Stop holding on to the impossible. Let yourself grow.
• Finally, remember that your daily life is not a competition. There is no law that tells us that there are some who must always win and others who must always lose. To live is to celebrate life. It is giving and receiving. It is to live together in harmony, to be responsible for ourselves with our successes and defeats, without blaming our frustrations on others.

Let us now put these simple tips into practice. You have to think that “I am the protagonist of my own life”.