I’m Hiring A New Cupid – My Old One Was Fired

After many years, many tears and many, many disappointments, I have decided to dismiss my Cupid.

He has definitely not made the right choice. Cupid shot his arrows randomly and made me go through impossible love over and over again. So from now on I will be looking for a new, serious and responsible Cupid – one who will choose my partners with wisdom.

During our lives we have partners who work very well, okay and horrible. In the latter two cases, we tend to think: What seventeen thought that fat, flying baby with blindfold when he made me fall in love with this person?

According to Roman mythology, Cupid is the god of amorous lust (his Greek counterpart is Eros). There are different variants of the story of his origin, but the most well-known says that he is the son of Venus – the goddess of love, beauty and fertility – and Mars – the god of war.

Cupid is represented as a child with wings, with a blindfold over his eyes and armed with a bow and arrow.

Dr. Frances Cohen – psychologist and psychoanalyst – has studied the subject of love and gathered evidence that shows that our brain deactivates mechanisms that cause us to see deficiencies in the other individual at the beginning of an amorous relationship.

The chemical elements that develop during the love phase produce a feeling of euphoria within us that not only makes us feel good, but also deactivates the instincts that allow us to evaluate the other person.

But we can not believe that love is just an emotion, because reason also plays a very important role. You have to think about love in addition to feeling it. You need a very large dose of willpower to maintain and bring a good and loving relationship forward. Love alone is not enough.

When we walk along the street, sit on the bus or meet someone at a party, we can sometimes feel a special attraction to a person. We may feel “love at first sight.”

Love at first sight is an intense attraction, a captivating passion for someone who changes our emotions and generates an intense feeling of well-being.

A professor at Syracuse University – Stefanie Ortigue – conducted a study in which she proved that the symptoms of someone in love come from inside the brain.

Dr. Ortigue showed that the feeling of love activates twelve areas of the brain, which work together to secrete a large dose of dopamine, oxytocin and adrenaline. All these substances create a feeling of euphoria.

Therefore, love at first sight is not only possible, but also based on body chemistry.

The Argentine psychologist Walter Riso gives us in his book “Manual Para No Morir de Amor: Diez Principios de Supervivencia Afectiva” ten principles for the survival of affection itself. They are as follows:

A broken heart hurts, it hurts immensely, but you have to learn from it and just walk away. Just remember the untamed passion we felt as young people and try to feel what feelings we give each other now: none.

There are no magic pills for heartache, you just have to use strength to counteract the grief.

A relationship with a lover and a relationship with a lover who becomes your spouse are two very different things. And you should think very carefully about what kind of relationship it is in your case.

One of the most important questions you can ask yourself is: Are you able to trust the faithfulness of someone who was once your lover and with whom you now share your life?

Many people find themselves in situations where one of the people lives in constant indecision. In these cases , it is best to do as much distance as possible from him if we want to avoid suffering.

It’s all about managing your relationships in a healthy way, with disconnection. It’s about being free to love yourself and at the same time share life with the other person.

Sometimes you are looking for a new person to replace the old one with when you have ended a relationship. This is not a good idea, because it will only make you unhappy and make the other person suffer.

We need to go through our phase of grief, learn and enjoy our loneliness. And only when we are okay again should we start looking for a new relationship.

If you think you have to live in misery for your partner to be happy, then you have a problem. This is usually due to a problem with self-esteem that you should work on in order to have healthy and happy relationships.

You need to ask yourself: Does your partner love you the way he wants you to love him?

If you do not feel well about this or if something worries you, talk about it, communicate it and make the person understand; if not, he or she may not be right for you.

In the first phase of love, as we mentioned earlier, we tend to idealize our partner and not see his shortcomings. But healthy love must be realistic. We should see the person’s shortcomings as well as virtues.

It is possible to feel love at any age, but when there is a big age difference between the parties, the relationship can become more complicated because both people go through different phases of their lives. It is recommended to think about and evaluate all these aspects and to be very realistic in these cases.

We should also learn from breakups; we should learn what we do not want, what we do not like, what makes us feel bad. It is necessary to develop a “no-wisdom”. In other words , we may not know what we want in love, but we should know what we do not want.

Therefore, it is not about replacing Cupid, but rather about changing ourselves to be able to love ourselves and others.