If For Some Reason You Leave Me, Do Not Come Back With Excuses

How many people have you let go of in life because you were tired of hearing their excuses and justifications? Think about it. We may fall one, two, three or ten times, but we will stand up 20 times with the knowledge that in the end we did what was best for us and our emotional health: we let them go.

We will never really understand what makes us let certain people into our lives, people who specialize in turning our world upside down, by making us go through disappointments, false hopes and unjust sorrows.

If something is important to someone, he will do everything he can to take care of it, protect it. If it is not important, the person will rely on excuses to justify false affection. Do not let this affect you. Try to notice it in time and surround yourself with people who are authentic, easy going and honest.

It is often said that excuses come from mediocre people, or even more so from people who are good at spinning lies and manipulating. We do not know how their brains work or why they use these crutches every day.

What we do know is the feeling that these actions produce in us: disappointment. Today we want to reflect on this type of behavior. We want to understand it, deal with it and know how to react to it, no matter how difficult it is.

Think about it: what’s worse for you, excuses or lies? In reality, they are both on the same side of the coin: lack of sincerity and courage. When we make excuses or lie, we are not honest, and we are even less brave.

It is said that people are good at creating pretexts. But some make this a way of life that masks the irresponsibility of their actions. That’s why excuses are much worse than lies.

There are clever lies and there are white lies, and there are even lies that last a lifetime and are never discovered. But excuses and pretexts are more often used as awkward attempts at emotional manipulation.

Imagine that someone who means a lot to you starts to distance yourself without giving you a reason. The person simply decides to disappear from your life. If you had an intense emotional bond with him, you will need to mend your heart and your existence, piece by piece.

But it will not end there. The person will soon come back and offer the classic excuses: I needed time to think, when I left I realized how much you mean to me, other people caused our separation…

You can give the person a second chance and open the door again. However, if he or she is the type of person who always makes excuses, he or she will fall back into this behavior. That’s when you decide to let go.

What hides these people who give excuses?

• Fear of responsibility.
• Uncertainty about how to act on your thoughts. They prefer to mask reality with a lie to justify and defend themselves.
• Inability to admit mistakes.
• Lack of consistency in their own ideas and feelings, and temporary personal immaturity.
• Lack of self-control or appropriate emotional management. They act impulsively without thinking about the consequences, only to later hide behind pretexts and excuses.

• Lack of a good self-image. They do not want to take sufficient control over their behavior because it would require effort and energy.

Immature behavior that turns into continuous excuses can only change if the person is capable of developing the following:

• Cessation of avoidant behavior
• Discipline
• Perseverance and inner knowledge
• Consequence
• Responsibility for one’s actions
• Respect for others

If someone leaves you for no reason, it is because he lacks the courage and sincerity to explain the truth to you. What good is an excuse if we know that in this case it is only about pretexts that are hidden lies? You have to let go of people who never did anything to stay, who gave you false hopes, half-truths and half-hearted love.

During our lives we will hear many lies. We will even make our own excuses. But we should never use them to hide how we really feel, and certainly not to hurt anyone else.

If you feel that some people who “value” you specialize in this type of scam and torture, you should reflect on it and ask yourself how they make you feel. If they violate your privacy, if their untruths are already stirring your heart, you should exercise zero tolerance for their excuses. Take distance and give reasons; do not look for excuses, because even the people who hurt you do not deserve it. This is how you live genuinely.

Photos by Ellina Ellis.