Advice: What Is It Really And How Can It Help?

In difficult situations, such as when a child becomes ill or when a family member passes away,  counseling can be very helpful. As Viktor Frankl once said, attitude is a personal choice. Therapists can help their patients with their attitudes during difficult times.

Viktor Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist of Jewish descent who survived three years in concentration camps, including Auschwitz and Dachau. After this experience, he wrote books, which often ended with the fact that  there was always a reason to live,  despite everything that had happened.

One thing psychologists do is ask the right questions to find out what patients’ reasons are for living, and help them find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Psychological counseling consists of getting the patient to think through a set of questions so that he can make the best decisions for himself and his health. The goal is to  maximize the  patient’s level of competence at the lowest possible emotional cost. To do so, the therapist will begin with three basic attitudes: warmth, presence, and compassion. Furthermore, the fundamental skills are:

• Emotional management:  emotions are natural. Recognizing and accepting them are the first steps. In counseling, the therapist will teach the patient to manage their emotions.
• Effective communication: the  therapist should not be authoritarian or paternalistic towards the patient. It is not about giving orders or overprotecting him; it is about giving him self-control and tools so that he can make decisions and solve problems on his own.

• Inclusion and emotional support:  emotions associated with suffering are both strong and varied. They should not be stopped, but rather legitimized and accompanied.
• Problem solving:  a decision-making process that the patient and the therapist perform together.

For effective communication between counselor and patient:

• Stop and connect with yourself:  it is important that the counselor focuses on the present by focusing on his breathing. This will give her time to give good answers to the patient.
• Validate:  validation means that you listen to the patient’s feelings and have empathy. It is to legitimize the patient’s perspective and make him see that this behavior has a valid cause. When he feels accepted and validated, the communication channels will open up. The counselor may not agree with the patient’s opinions or behaviors, but she can understand and validate them. She should resist the reflex to correct and tell the patient what to do, and instead understand the patient’s needs, listen to him and help him take action.

• Question:  This step is fundamental to counseling. The idea is that the expert should ask open, strategic questions that help the patient to reflect and make good decisions. Some questions that can promote communication are: what do you know about your illness? What do you want to know about it? How are you? How can I help you?
• Discuss:  dialogue is a way of informing and sharing perspectives with the patient. It is very useful to use constructive criticism and suggest changes. The counselor can begin by describing the problem and expressing the feelings produced by the problematic behavior. She can then offer alternatives and specific suggestions.

To help the patient make a decision, the following problem-solving model may be helpful. It is divided into the following steps:

• Orientation to the problem:  this has to do with the attitude the patient has when confronted with the problem. The attitude can be avoidant, impulsivity, proactivity, etc. Once the patient’s attitude is identified, the therapist can encourage a positive attitude that turns the problem into a challenge that calls for personal growth.
• Define the problem  precisely by exploring the perspectives of both the patient and the counselor.
• Search for alternatives:  brainstorming is one method.
• Weigh the pros against the cons  of each option you come up with during your brainstorming.
• Choose  the option that is most suitable.
• Act:  execute the plan step by step. The steps must be simple and possible so that the patient does not give up.

• Evaluation:  when the selected plan has been performed, the therapist and the patient should go through how it went. If the problem improved due to a specific behavior, it will be encouraged. If it did not, then the next step is to think about why and what you can do.

In short, the tools are designed to encourage the patient to make their own decisions and feel responsible for their own lives. Only then is it likely that change will take place, and that it will last. If the patient is not allowed to tell how he is feeling and thinking, and the expert is constantly holding the reins, the solution will not be sustainable.