They Do Not Come For Us, They Come For Their Egos
Why do some of our exes come back into our lives when things are going well for us? Some relationships are very “on and off” – a very unprofitable situation. The same person who was not there for us when we needed it, is suddenly there when we picked up the pieces. And they do not come for us, but for their egos.
The ego likes everything that is in line with its expectations. When our ego dominates our way of loving, we find ourselves in a game of Russian roulette where we win when our whimsical and selfish desires meet.
Above all, people who inflate their egos seek recognition from other people, and especially their partners. This is because they do not give themselves anything.
In order to create a relationship that is satisfactory to both parties, we must negotiate the wishes of our “self”. Only then will we have a relationship where both feel good. The love we want is just as important as the love we offer.
Relationships that are “on and off” are an exhausting, devastating dynamic. This often happens because a person wants to stay in the early stages of falling in love. However, this prevents the relationship from growing and maturing.
People with an egocentric love believe that they are still entitled to their partners. This is why they try to get him back, especially when they see that the person is starting to get their life back together. However, they are only looking to satisfy their egos.
They believe they have the right to cling in and out of their partners’ lives. They believe that they have the right to fill the orderly, clean, new spaces that the other person has spent a lot of energy creating.
But nothing good will come of being with an ex just to go back to the same old habit and let the person abuse the space that they have worked so hard to build.
If you have this type of ex trying to be with you again, take a minute to think about all the work you put into recovering and what you deserve.
Some people get back together under the premise: “Better the evil you are familiar with than the evil you are not.” Other people do it for fear of being alone. Still others do it because they have no one who can close their egos, fulfill their desires and say how good they are.
After a separation, the desire to be with the person we have shared so many experiences with can be very strong. But be careful…
According to experts, it can be very good to think about it for a while before we actually take the step. During this time, we have a job to do: identify the reasons for being together again – the other person and your own – and evaluate them.
For example, believing that the other person will change what it is we do not like is, for example, an expectation the other person will have a hard time living up to.
If we become together no one must be because we like the person he is, with all his good and bad sides. But we must be clear that what we do not like and think is important can lead to a breakup again.
Being together again is a sufficiently important decision for us not to act impulsively. It is true that we can listen to this impulse and even weigh it in the decision, but the previous breakup and effort we have made to heal ourselves… they justify extra caution.
