They Call Me Selfish Because I Think Of Myself

There will always be a time in our lives when we finally have to take the step. We free ourselves from certain situations, things, and even people who, rather than offering us well-being, have hurt us. This act of personal courage is seen by many as a reflection of selfishness, but when I think of myself it is because of self-love.

We must also keep in mind that this psychological idea has never been fully understood. Traditionally , the idea of ​​self-love is often related to certain narcissistic ideas and to the individualistic egoism that only wants to benefit itself. This is not entirely true.

This is a widespread opinion among psychologists and specialists in emotional issues, who say that people in general “are learned in rational issues, but not literate in emotional issues”. Suppressing what you feel or want is not healthy. It is also not healthy not to be able to respect and feel empathy with others.

I’m not selfish because I think of myself or say ‘no’, and no one should be stigmatized for daring to take the plunge and say ‘now that’s enough!’ We want you to reflect on all this!

Lack of self-love fuels our fears and makes us vulnerable. To understand this idea a little better, we must take the step into the fascinating world of neuroscience. According to a study conducted at the University of Dartmouth (USA) , the area of ​​the brain associated with self-esteem and self-love is the. So it is the place that is activated when I think of myself.

The greatest activity in this strong area of ​​the brain is our self-esteem. A common misconception that people have about this is that people with strong self-esteem and great self-love are almost always the most intelligent and successful.

This is not true; at least they are not related to each other. The activity of the frontostriatal network is a reflection of our emotional health: a lower level of activity puts people at higher risk of anxiety, insecurity and, in the long run, depression.

From an emotional point of view, people who do not care and do not value themselves as they deserve seek other people to fulfill this role, to cover these shortcomings and “feel safe”. They need recognition and affection in a very intense way. Instead of being “self-sufficient” with a good dose of self-love, they are prisoners under the will of others and thus begin a slow self-destruction.

Sometimes we fall into a subtle enchantment where we think that it is always better to take care of what is outside of us than to listen to the needs that our inner being calls out. The fact that this happens is due to educational patterns, different environments or the people around us, and these can hurt our self-esteem.

The worst happens when this external formation causes us to need the acceptance of others as a way to regain our emotional stability. All this will make us go through the world as broken people, in so many pieces that we have to “fix ourselves” even more with other people’s rules and beliefs, until we become dissolved and empty.

We explain how to avoid this below.

When faced with a damaged self-esteem, the most important thing is that you are aware of the “wound”, the “fracture” that has disconnected you from above all yourself:

• Exercise Emotional Compensation: Assurance of all your fears, questions of your emptiness, and relief from your sorrows are not always beyond you or those around you. You need to seek your own emotional compensation. Love that can help you in this case is without a doubt self-love.
• To start our self-esteem , we need to keep in mind the following: trying to please others is exhausting, and doing it every day for the rest of our lives can destroy us. It’s not real, it’s not healthy. No one should be considered selfish or cynical just because he says what he thinks and exercises the sincerity that is born out of respect, but who also knows how to set boundaries to protect himself.

• To raise self-esteem and have good self-love , we should think of ourselves as valuable people. And we should continue to do so, despite our mistakes and our failures. For these mistakes do not determine who you are, it is determined by whether you can get up again after you have fallen.

So instead of comparing ourselves to others or letting malicious criticism influence us, we should not forget to fuel the bond of love for ourselves. One quote I have in mind when I think of myself is from Jiddu Krishnamurti: religion should simply be knowing how to love oneself.