What Is Really Behind Unnecessary Comments?

Some people need to hurt others to feel better about themselves. Behind their seemingly harmless and unnecessary comments often hides a verbal poison that is to paralyze and destroy the victim. A silent destruction. It is almost impressively insidious.

They are people who enjoy making other people feel uncomfortable, as if they are inferior. They try to create these types of scenarios, whether consciously or subconsciously.

And they use all the weapons they have access to to achieve this. From the most obvious and easy to see to the most imperceptible. Think of these unnecessary comments you heard before. Maybe it helps if you think about those who were about your physical appearance.

It is an easy goal for these individuals. “Wow, you’re wearing weird stuff today I see…”, “you like weird things, right?”, “Why are you wearing that?” There are endless examples of these harmless comments.

“Okay, who cares? No matter how weird it is… ”,“ yes that’s what you think ”,“ I wear this because I like it. If I did not, I would not wear it; you think the same way when you get dressed. ”

These are the answers our common sense and our self-esteem would suggest. But there are people who get sad and let unnecessary comments invade them. People who let them corrode their self-esteem.

But think about it. What is behind these unnecessary comments? What purpose is hidden behind them? WHY?

This is the most honest question you can ask yourself. Why am I making these comments? Everyone is different and has their own tastes, ways of living their lives and presenting themselves.

If you do not like it or would not do it yourself… it is perfectly okay. You have learned something about what you like or dislike. But it is one thing to think “I do not like it”, and quite another to say it to the person. Why do some people feel the need to show their negative feelings about what someone looks like?

Often there is a hidden need that demands satisfaction at the expense of others behind these comments. Differences make our interactions and relationships interesting and rewarding. They enrich our world. Thanks to them, we learn to be more tolerant and accept the fact that our lifestyle is not the best or only.

There are probably as many lifestyles as there are people in the world. That is why it is important to find out why we make these unnecessary comments, these “glitches”. What do we get out of doing them?

But how do we usually react? In these situations, the person usually feels offended. He feels insecure, sensitive or hurt by the unnecessary nature of the comment.

But you must not let it affect you. You can look at it as the person’s opinion, but not an absolute truth.

Narcissists tend to make these comments. Comments made on purpose, without the intention of being harmless or innocent. They want to feel better, so they feed their inner, hungry monster with the pain of others.

This behavior is typical of narcissistic people, or more specifically people who carry such a painful wound that they inflate their own egos at the expense of others. A wound that comes from low self-esteem and insecurity.

If I can make another person seem inferior, I will look bigger. Eventually, the suffocating self-loathing will disappear. But that’s a big lie… because the more you hurt the person, the more contempt you feel. The pain piles up. We must reverse the situation.

Love yourself, heal the wound, but never at someone else’s expense. Make yourself bigger by loving, caring for and accepting yourself. That way, you will always be able to love and accept everyone else.

So the next time you receive an unnecessary comment or yourself feel like trapping someone you think is harmless… find out why. Why do you do it? What are you trying to get out of it? Use it as a way to start the healing process.