Eye To Eye: Distance In Verbal Communication

What role does distance play in verbal communication and how do they relate to gestures and body language? We’ll talk about that today.

Although technology limits the amount of face-to-face dialogues, it is still important to establish good forms of communication. This is because the language of the gestures is a good and quiet communicator.

They can actually say a lot if you read between the lines,  and above all supplement what you say with your words.

Non-verbal communication is crucial in conveying the right message, but what is the optimal distance to establish effective communication?

Eye to eye – a universe of gestures

The universe of gestures and movements is part of non-verbal communication. This means that gestures are the basic unit of this type of language. The most common term used to define them is body language.

This is because humans use it to communicate with other individuals in the environment.

Gestures are expressive movements with psychic content; they are thus  muscular movements that seek outlet,  which they receive whether they are voluntary and in line with intentions or involuntary products of an unconscious dynamic.

A gesture has generally seen a complexity that makes accurate measurement impossible. The synergy of almost invisible micro-movements makes it extremely difficult to make a comprehensive and complete depiction of the gesture universe.

Gestures eye to eye

Gestures in human interactions are symbolic movements that express and demonstrate something to be interpreted.

Each interlocutor can code the gestures from the other in accordance with their own beliefs, values, personal meanings, knowledge of the other and the context.

But the  gestures that take place in the face, the torso and the extremities, the use of space and the actions with which one’s body moves make the paraverbal language a spontaneous element in the transmission of messages.

This is a marginalized resource that is passed on to the background when verbal language takes place.

Many generations of listeners not only listen, but also observe the conversation partner in the meantime. There is a need to see the person speak, but we are seldom aware of it.

People thus do not understand that they have to communicate eye to eye. This is because they must understand the message in all its dimensions. Usually people say “I hear you” when they communicate, not “I see you”.

Distance in verbal communication

The gestures, expressions and voice modes, together with tone of voice, rhythm and movements, will be developed within a limited space between the communicators. This space is the optimal distance to establish communication.

Hall (1966) talked about the management of this space and  also its movement in relation to proximity and relational distance. Hans classified it as four types of distance:

• Intimate distance:  this indicates a distance of emotional closeness. It is the distance between people who are romantically involved. Furthermore, it is a part of the father who irons his son’s hair; it is also present in the relationship between mother and daughter. It is an approach that allows interlocutors to come together. To some extent, there is a violation of the boundaries of the personal territory. This space invites them to express themselves emotionally, such as by hugging or caressing the other person’s body.

• Personal distance:  this is a distance of closeness, but one where the interlocutors retain their personal boundaries. These are clearly defined, and thus this is the distance of interpersonal relationships, mutually agreed between friends, family members or co-workers. It is also the distance between two people who have a common goal or interest.
• Social distance:  there is  no physical contact at this distance. The gaze happens to be the only connection that is maintained. It is not an impersonal relationship, but there is a protective space and also a distance from any invasions or disturbances from the interlocutor. It is also the optimal distance in situations of negotiation or sale. Generally, there are desks, tables or other objects that force distance between the communicators. In traditional psychiatric consultations, the classic distance to the therapist is marked with a desk or a white coat.

• General distance:  this is the distance for formal interactions. There is no intimacy and no personal connection. There is no direct relationship at all. This is the typical distance to a lecturer or professor.

About this distance in verbal communication

In the last three types of distances mentioned above, the length of the space between the parties can be from 60 cm to 80 cm.

Thus, architecture expresses lifestyles and human interactions in a certain way. There is a lot in the design of a house that reflects the specific requirements of the family in question.

Despite the fact that we live in a time of impersonal relationships, there has been a reduction in personal, social and public distances.

During the first decades of the last century, a formal distance was established, despite the fact that they had closer interactions with and more knowledge about their neighbors, friends and family.

For example, physical contact was not acceptable and people expected to be treated formally. The relational distance was considerably greater at that time than today.

Relational distance

This distance depends on the socio-cultural context. Each culture imposes the specific distance between communicators. Some circumstances have a closer social distance, equivalent to the intimate distance in other cultures.

This often leads to misunderstandings between people who belong to antagonistic contexts at the relational level, and even more so when the only way to emphasize something verbal is with physical contact.

Eye to eye – examples of relational distance and sociocultural context

This example from Paul Watzlawick from 1976 shows these differences. It is about a series of scientists who explored a phenomenon at Rio de Janeiro airport. The airport has a terrace with a low railing where many have fallen over the years.

These accidents only affected foreigners and mainly Europeans. This terrace was a meeting place for receptions and goodbye.

What the researchers found was that when Brazilians talked to Europeans, the latter began to withdraw. This is because they tried to create an appropriate distance in the interaction.

The Brazilian personal space is very small, roughly comparable to the intimate space of Europeans.

Where the Europeans backed off to increase the distance, the Brazilians responded by following, after which the Europeans fell over the railing.

Conclusion on distance in verbal communication

Gestures are difficult to master. Some people are consciously able to convey what they want to express through verbal language,  but are unable to do so with gestures.

Therefore, one must be aware of metacommunication and preferred distances, especially when there is doubt about the meaning you give to others’ gestures. It will help you become a better communicator.