Why Do So Many People Like To Gossip?
It’s not just people in very small towns or the stereotypical housewives who like to gossip during their coffee breaks. In today’s world, gossip is different. Today, it is ingrained in the daily life of ordinary people. But why do so many like to gossip? What makes it so popular?
Language and uncertainty
Some say that gossip arose when human language developed. They say that gossip even played a helpful role in building today’s great modern societies. The stories that people told about others were informative: they talked about social status, the roles they played in groups and established social norms. These stories also served a function in the search for a suitable partner.
On a deeper level, there is an underlying psychological principle to gossip because it can help eliminate uncertainty. People do not feel good when they think they do not have enough information. So they try to restore the cognitive balance.
How? By getting the missing information through gossip. The motivation is to find out facts about other people. In practice, the goal sanctifies the means. Everything is allowed.
How are gossipers? How does a gossip look at himself?
When you fall victim to gossip, you begin to wonder. Do they gossip only because they are bored? Do they have no life of their own to live? Why do they want to hurt me? In general, people who gossip are not very reflective. Therefore, their conversations are mostly about superficial things. In fact, the external environment is usually a reflection of a person’s inner self. The richer the former is, the richer the latter will be.
People who gossip have lives just like everyone else. But they prefer to escape from their problems and think about other people’s problems so that they do not have to think about their own. That’s their defense mechanism.
What they are not aware of is that they are wasting their time when they could spend it on themselves. One of the most interesting things about gossip is that they rarely admit that they love to gossip. They are often unaware of it.
Can it be useful to gossip? Is it good? Is it harmful?
In general, people associate the concept of gossip as unnecessary, that it does not provide particularly relevant information. Sometimes it’s just like that. Think of all the rumors we hear about celebrities who actually have nothing to do with our lives.
But sometimes gossip can be useful from an individual perspective. Asking many questions can provide you with valuable information, which can open up new opportunities for you. However, this type of behavior can be called opportunistic. In addition, you can damage your reputation in the process.
Psychology believes that moderation is the best option. It’s good to show interest in people you care about. But being curious does not mean interfering in the lives of others or gossiping with others about them. In place, it means you have to know how to ask and listen. It’s about showing respect.
So if you are constantly harassing them, soaking your nose and snooping on their privacy (and home), they will probably not respond positively to your exaggerated interest.
How to act when someone wants to share gossip
If you think a friend of yours is in the habit of gossiping, you can first observe them. The next step is to ask yourself two questions. Why is this person telling me this? What is the point of him telling me this? You can even ask these questions directly to the person in question if you consider the information inappropriate. Depending on the answer, you can form an opinion about whether you should take the person’s words seriously.
Normally, you do not have to pay special attention to the gossip, unless it is about you of course. But keep in mind that it may be about you next time. Therefore , the best thing you can do to avoid hurting someone is not to spread information about someone else. That way, the rumor or gossip will end with you.
If someone then attacks you with questions , it is best to tell them that you are uncomfortable answering the questions, to say that you simply do not want to talk about it. You can use any excuse to get rid of these people. Your freedom and privacy are at stake, so it’s best that you defend yourself.
Does it make anyone credible to have a lot of information about other people?
Absolutely not. Trust is earned through discretion and understanding. It does not depend on the information someone may have about others. If someone tells a secret that someone else told them… do you think you can trust this person with your own secrets? Why would he keep your secrets if he did not keep others?
Not only do they spread other people’s secrets, but they also add a bit of drama to the story. This means that they are lying, or at least half-truths to make what they tell more interesting. Basically, this shows an inherent uncertainty because they are dependent on appearing interesting and getting the attention of others.
At some point, however, we become all informants about the lives of others. Problems arise when you do it compulsively and constantly, without humility and respect for others. Look inward and shoot your own business.
