Advantages And Disadvantages Of Free Upbringing

Although free upbringing does not have to be a bad thing, it is not necessarily the best foundation for raising a child. This is especially true in extreme cases where this relaxed approach is not balanced by other factors, such as a strong parental influence or open communication.

Whether you choose this or any other approach, experts such as psychologist Jeff Nalin (founder of the Paradigm Treatment Centers) argue that children need to know who is responsible. They need this reference point so that they can understand what they should and should not do.

Some overly permissive parents may choose to remain silent and avoid setting certain boundaries for fear of their children reacting negatively: frustrated that they get a no and do not get what they want. When this happens, the boundaries set by others besides the parents become all the more important.

The permissive parent

But what does a permissive parent really look like? They are quite easy to spot. They are usually kind, affectionate and attentive to their children. Due to their inability to set boundaries, they form family groups without a solid structure, where chaos and improvisation prevail. They try to impose as few restrictions as possible, which makes the child’s own wishes a priority.

In many cases, this lack of rules means that the child is not aware that there are even rules. They see their parent as a friend rather than an authority figure. The crux is that the parents themselves tend to prefer things in this way; they enjoy the lack of conflict, despite the uncertainty and confusion that these vague boundaries give rise to.

The benefits of free upbringing

After all, a more permissive parenting style actually has its benefits. According to Nalin, it can be especially beneficial for children who develop a strong sense of responsibility and independence at an early age. For example, having the freedom to explore can encourage the child to face challenges earlier in life. This gives them room for almost unlimited growth.

In general, many of the children who grow up in this type of environment create their own pillars. They adopt an adult attitude, in the sense that they begin to look to the world and the wider society for guidance on what they can and cannot do. For some of them, the typical fears of childhood disappear and they become less likely to let others violate their rights.

In addition, with fewer restrictions and plenty of time to do the things they like and are passionate about, these children tend to be relatively creative. They may also show some skill in learning new things. They have no fear of punishment and, as a result, no fear of failure. If something does not work the first time, they simply try again.

Deficiencies and pitfalls in a free upbringing

However, there are a number of disadvantages to keep in mind. These children may, for example, show a lack of respect for the social norms that underlie peaceful coexistence. These are not absolutely necessary, but they are designed to make society more enjoyable for everyone. If the child does not adopt these norms, they may find it difficult to integrate socially.

Children with permissive parents have also been shown to be more susceptible to early anxiety. This is because they have difficulty working under pressure from external standards. They may have difficulty working according to a schedule, following orders from superiors or dealing with conflicts with those they do not agree with.

The most obvious problem, however, arises with a lack of self-discipline. Children are natural enjoyers of life and if they are to learn on their own the benefits of delayed gratification, this lesson will come late, if ever. It is possible, albeit difficult, to educate creative citizens under authoritarian circumstances. However, it is almost impossible to raise self-sacrificing individuals without just one upbringing.

There are a number of different variables that can affect a child’s growth and development. One of the most influential factors is the dominant parenting style they grow up with. How beneficial or harmful a parenting style is depends on a number of factors, including the child’s own personality.

A responsible child who thrives through his own independence grows and develops best when the parents avoid introducing stricter norms and rules than the child imposes on himself. However, this approach can be counterproductive in impulsive or rebellious children.