You Have The Right To Feel Angry And Protest Against Your Discomfort

Even if there are others who try to convince you of the opposite, you have the right to get and feel angry. Feeling annoyed or furious is the first step towards confronting a problem and it is an emotional necessity. Keep in mind that if we limit ourselves to swallowing our anger over and over again, without confronting it, it will hurt us and hurt our self-esteem.

You must have one thing clear to you: letting yourself feel angry does not mean that you lose control or show signs of weakness. We often tend to confuse certain terms and ideas. We know that the one who makes us angry dominates us. But we will not deactivate this negative feeling because of this. We will not hide it, refuse to accept it or handle it. Anger has a very clear goal: it tries to make us solve a concrete threat.

Our daily lives will always test our emotional balance. There will always be people who are supported. But there will also be people who do not take anything personally. Each of us goes through our lives with a certain filter, where certain emotions and thoughts may slip through.

But everything has a limit and an unbreakable barrier. By that we mean that barrier that is often exceeded to destroy our self-esteem, to tear our emotional integrity to pieces and manipulate us. There is a reason why anger exists. Expressing anger in a respectful way and at the right time is something very healthy.

Protesting and giving your emotions a voice is also helpful

It may seem strange, but there are very few books that explain the benefits of getting angry. This type of emotion has always been associated with a lack of control, or a lack of ability to deal with obstacles and problems.

But it is good to remember that, just like during a grieving process, we must take a step towards accepting our own feelings before we channel and transform them. Knowing what you are feeling and why you are feeling this is important to be able to solve an emotional dilemma. In 2011, a book was published on this topic entitled “Annoying”. It is written by researchers Joe Palca and Flora Lichtman.

In this text, the subject of anger is addressed and studied from a multidisciplinary perspective, including neuroscience, sociology, anthropology and psychology. The first thing they point out is that anger is often compared to rage or frustration with someone or something. This is not true. In fact, experts believe that elements of anger are like a feeling in themselves.

Anger never comes from a special event. It is an accumulation of “many small things that eventually pile up”. It’s like the mosquito that flies around your room every night and drives you crazy, making you unable to sleep. It makes you focus on it and nothing else. But there is an even more important thing to keep in mind and that is that without discomfort there is no possibility of change. In other words, the negative feeling has a purpose: it makes us act.

Getting intelligently angry

Charles Darwin once said that negative emotions such as fear and anger are warnings that lead us to put more appropriate behaviors into practice to avoid a threat. Paying attention to what is bothering us is a sign of self-awareness. Behaving appropriately in accordance with these emotions is a sign of emotional intelligence.

Below we will show you how you should behave in these cases and what aspects we should understand.

The 4 laws of intelligent anger

• The first law is to be aware that whoever is always upset will always be unhappy. These are battles that are not worth fighting. There are aspects that are not worthy of our attention and conversations that one should not start or continue with. Get angry about things that really upset your personal balance. Stand up to what is attacking your self-esteem, and defend yourself against the one who is trying to harm you.

• The second law refers to something very obvious: it is possible to defend oneself in a respectful way. It is important to be able to discuss without verbally attacking the other person. This is something that can and should be done through emotional intelligence.
• The third law has some very clear steps that we should all become familiar with: listen, feel, breathe, clarify and act. In other words, we must first respond to the stimuli that offend or harm us. We will then become aware of our feelings, we will feel the anger. We will then breathe and establish our priorities.

• The fourth and final law for getting angry in an intelligent way is learning. Every situation you solve should teach you that inactivity, silence and “swallowing your emotions” are harmful and not at all healthy.

You do not have to be afraid of negative emotions. It is important to understand and manage them for our personal development.