7 Guidelines For Dealing With Unwanted Loneliness

Loneliness in itself is neither good nor bad. It depends on how you get through it and accept it. We are all – and sometimes want to be – alone. We need it and it’s good for us. However, there are times when loneliness arises from sadness or abandonment. Suffering from unwanted loneliness over a long period of time can be very tough because we are social beings.

That is why today we give you seven guidelines for managing it in an intelligent way and using it to grow as a person. Come along!

There are several forms of “negative” loneliness. A person may feel helpless, lonely and have little hope that the situation will change. For these people, loneliness can feel like a conviction: an unwanted situation, a punishment that is clearly unfair.

Unwanted loneliness is one of the most negative experiences for a person’s health, both physically and mentally. The concept of loneliness is not the same as isolation. Addiction is even more different from loneliness. We could say that they are three different sides of loneliness, and each of them has its advantages and disadvantages.

First and foremost, it can mean keeping away from crowds, everyday stress and the noise of life… This type of loneliness is necessary for us to “give ourselves fuel”, pray, write or concentrate.

We need this kind of loneliness. If we handle it intelligently, it can give us great benefits. Many times, however, we do not choose loneliness – instead it is something that is forced on us. If it is forced, we can feel so lonely that we feel isolated among lots of people.

Mental loneliness is perhaps the worst type of loneliness. It can lead to a pathology and even end in suicide. Loneliness can also come from feeling that you have no deep relationships. Maybe you do not have any true friends or family you trust.

Some people may also be particularly susceptible to loneliness. There are studies that show that it is increasingly common as we approach the age of 40. It reaches its climax when the children leave home and we retire. When children leave home, “empty bird’s nest syndrome” can occur. It does not have to be bad though, we can take advantage of it.

There is another type of loneliness that usually occurs in old age, when we lose independence and find it difficult to move. Knowing how to accept this and make it work can strengthen us.

Organize your life differently

Organize your life according to your current state (single, widowed, retired, without children, etc.). Get rid of stressful routines you used to have as a housewife / husband or employee if it is no longer you. It is high time to update your routines.

Develop schedules

Stick to specific times to go to bed and to get up. Try not to let your life become an “anarchy”. A schedule can give you a sense of security. Even on days when you do not have to get up early, do not stay in bed. You will only feel more depressed if your body does not follow a schedule.

Always eat at the same time

If possible, always eat at the same time. Have dinner every night, even if it is small. Do not fall into the trap of eating only when you are hungry or eating out of control. You will notice it on your mental health and your state of mind. Disorder generates further disorder, and it can lead to anxiety.

Try to set the pace yourself

Do not let yourself be swept away by how you feel temporarily. “I’m bored, I do not feel like taking a shower and getting dressed… I’m just going to lie on the couch all day and wait for a call or a visit that will never come.” Look at your to-do list and do something with your day!

Engage in rewarding activities

Do you have a garden? Go out there and get dirty. If you have a garden, take care of it; there is always something to do. If not, get indoor plants and take care of them. You can also clean the house, organize, do the dishes… Doing something that distracts you and keeps you active is good and healthy.

Do not kill time

We need to find things that can fill our schedule,  but it should be something that is important to us, that we appreciate and that helps us grow. It’s about finding something that attracts you and that captures your interest.

Put in a new gear

Make a change. Change your habits, add a little risk to your life, go to the cinema even if you do not have anyone with you, go out and have dinner one day, travel.

The relationship we have to loneliness depends on us. Living alone does not necessarily mean feeling alone. If you are going through situations like this, we hope these guidelines can help you, if only a little!