The Interesting Emotional Life Between Men U0026amp; Woman

The emotional life between a man and a woman is an interesting exchange. It is strongly influenced by the needs as well as the mental and emotional habits of both of them. These habits, in turn, depend on biological and educational preferences, and make us all unique in our emotional nature.

The most common complaint from men about women is that they are too emotional. Women, in turn, accuse men of not being emotional enough. With these accusations, we try to “change the other person to meet our needs.” We believe that the person can change if he really wants to.

But we must know that the brains of men and women are very different.

Daniela is going through a period of high stress at work. When she gets home, all she wants is for Jorge to listen to her and give her a hug. But as soon as Daniela tells him about her problems, Jorge goes into what she calls “robot mode”. He starts telling Daniela what she can do.

This is worrying for Daniela because she thinks Jorge does not understand or care about what affects her. At the same time, Jorge is tortured by seeing Daniela feel so bad, but he can find no way to help her. He offers her solutions but can not get her to pay attention and try to implement them.

Until recently, it was believed that the differences in how men and women feel and express emotions were only due to the education they received. As we have discussed, however, we know today that the emotional processing in the male brain is different from that of the female brain.

This difference is based on the use of two different brain systems acting simultaneously (the mirror-neural system and the spatial-temporal interconnection). Let’s take a look at them in our examples.

If you could x-ray Jorge’s brain while Daniela complains about her problems and starts crying, you would see two emotional processing systems activated in it.

First, it would be the mirror-neural system (MNS), which for the moment lets him feel the emotional pain reflected in Daniel’s face. At this point, in other words, Jorge feels emotional empathy for his partner.

The next thing we could witness after this brain activation is the start of the spatial-temporal interconnection (TPJ), where he can analyze the situation and look for solutions. This is what is called cognitive empathy.

The male brain can use TPJ from the end of childhood, and male hormones can create a preference for the analysis system which is TPJ (although it can vary greatly from one man to another).

TPJ allows us to establish clear boundaries for our own and other people’s feelings, which sometimes prevent mental processes from being affected by the feelings of others. This strengthens the ability to search for cognitive and analytical solutions, which is very practical and adaptable in the world we live in.

So if we were to observe Jorge’s brain as he gives Daniela solutions that his brain has come up with to relieve her pain, we would see how the cortex is activated as he asks his partner the following and similar questions: “How many people do you need to complete? worked? ”

This will, as many readers have probably figured out, irritate Daniela. She will then answer: “Why does it matter? I have to do it with the group I have ”, at the same time as a contemptuous look is directed at Jorge.

However, Jorge will not register the emotional tone in Daniela’s latest comment. His male brain will have disconnected the area of ​​emotional empathy as it seeks to find a solution and cognitive empathy for its loved one.

As a result, Jorge will offer her a fantastic solution that comes from his brain: “Hire temporary employees”. The areas of well-being in Jorge’s brain will automatically light up because of this excellent idea.

But the pleasure lasts exactly as long as it takes for Daniela to change her expression. She just cries and feels bad about how her partner does not understand her feelings and does not give them the weight they deserve.

Jorge tries in every possible way to help Daniela in a practical way. His logical thinking tells him that this is the best thing he can do. But Daniela sees it from a different point of view and as a woman wants emotional empathy rather than cognitive. She does not care so much about solutions, but just wants to feel in ” emotional harmony” with her partner during her discomfort.

So Daniela will interpret it as Jorge not caring about what they are talking about, while Jorge is really trying to solve the pain of the person in front of him.

From this point of view, we must come to the conclusion that the emotional background of a man is no less rich or less dignified than a woman’s. However, most of us function differently at the cerebral level.

We can see this as an obstacle to understanding or as a way to perfectly complement each other emotionally. So now that we have this information, maybe it’s time to keep in mind and make the emotional life between a man and a woman something much more rewarding…

Carlson, N. (2014). Physiology of Behavior. Publisher Pearson.

Brizendine, L. (2010). The Male Brain. Disclosure RBA.

Pictures from Claudia Tremblay, Puung and unknown authors.

You always attract what you want to avoid

We spend a lot of time and energy avoiding things we do not want to happen. But why does it always end with the exact opposite? This is a very common problem. It is possible that the solution… Read more »