7 Reasons Unhappy Couple Keep Together

You have probably ever seen a couple of quarrels constantly, where the parties even show a total lack of respect for each other. You learn to agree with me when I say that the first thing we wonder in such a situation is: why do they stick together?

Things are not always as they seem in relationships. Apart from being with friends and family, people tend to wear masks to varying degrees. In a relationship, for example, the person who seems most dependent may in fact be the dominant one and fulfill the opposite role than we as spectators expect.

It is true that our rational side responds to problems or negative situations by avoiding them, in order to survive, but there are many studies that show that anger or fear is a type of bond.

With the results of these studies in mind, we can also argue that anger can be more important than love to keep a couple together .

When we are in a relationship, we look for character traits that qualify it as a harmonious experience, but this sentimental argument does not always have a strong basis. Difficult relationships are often built and chosen by both people, and below are seven reasons that are often behind the decision to stick together.

Feelings of guilt

There are people who stay in a relationship because they have feelings of guilt about leaving their partner. Usually they feel sorry for the other person.

2. Power play

When there is an uneven distribution of jobs or similar situations in the relationship , the person who is not active tends to become dependent on the other, follow the current and even “swept away” emotionally. If this situation arises, the person in question will feel lost without the person who “has the command” in the relationship.

To be unable to express true thoughts and feelings

Despite the image we may have of people, not everything we see is “as it seems”. There are probably countless moments when you feel disturbed, but you have kept calm to avoid losing your job, ending a relationship or hurting the person by your side or yourself!

If we are not loyal to our values ​​or if our partner does not act in a positive way, we may feel frustrated and angry at ourselves for just finding ourselves in the situation. When we project this anger towards our partner, we can give ourselves temporary relief, but afterwards this irritation or anger will come back and create a vicious / addictive circle.

How to hide, erase or do not say what we think and feel will sometimes cause us to maintain the “unreal” conditions.

4. Adopted “agreements” that are not formally expressed

Making agreements that are implied but never formally hammered out can make the relationship dangerous when the purpose of these tacit agreements is to allow and / or avoid habits such as infidelity, generous spending or misconduct. Good verbal and non-verbal communication is vital for a healthy relationship, and so also to be transparent and truthful at all times.

One or both of them think they deserve bad treatment

In most cases, adults are voluntary participants in relationships, no matter how unhealthy they may seem, as there may be secret rewards for both people. The most common reasons used to justify continuing to stick together are children, finances, time invested, shame over separation or people’s religion.

In situations of poor emotional care, it is possible that one person thinks he or she deserves to be treated badly. This situation can change if the victim internalizes the message that he does not deserve to be emotionally abused by his partner.

With this new way of feeling and thinking, you will learn to say no and develop a healthy self, which is necessary to overcome the situation. In the end, you will be aware of the fact that no negative situation or injury inflicted on you justifies your carelessness.

6. Hope there will be an improvement

Things can change, it’s true, but it’s not common when it comes to habits, and this becomes even truer when you look at the awkward situation. There are many people who prefer to defend themselves with hope and the passage of time, as justifications for their circumstances. But the truth is that if they spend so much time being unhappy, the change will be more complicated if there are no compromises or determination from both sides.

7. Fear and insecurity about walking

Many times people decide to stay in a relationship even when they are not happy, and this because of the fear of making the wrong decision or uncertainty about not knowing what their life will be like without the other person.

Emotionally healthy people know how to use their tools in a positive way.

When you are aware of all the emotional traits and situations that can cause us to become overwhelmed and maintain negative relationships, you have the ability to get rid of the fear of being alone with your own frustrations and insecurities. You know yourself, you are aware of your limits and, best of all, you feel free to love and be loved.