5 Tips To Be More Patient
In general, patience is not a strength of today’s parent. Perhaps patience is not very widespread. The stress we are exposed to, the competitive orientation in our society, the agitation, the high expectations we have of ourselves and what we have of our children, and the uncertainty about what will happen in the future – everything irritates us.
If we add that children, by definition, are annoying, we are faced with a situation that is difficult to master, but not impossible. Children can drive you crazy, but it is in their nature to do so. But letting yourself be swept away and losing control or not is up to you as a parent.
Maintaining control is the key to being more patient. Control – or rather self-control – allows you to set boundaries, manage circumstances, understand them and make smarter decisions.
Let’s be honest about this – it’s difficult. Children challenge their parents’ patience in a struggle to see who wins. And if you lose control, you lose the game. It is in your hands to maintain the position on the scoreboard.
When you are tired, you need time to recharge your batteries. In this situation, you are not in the right situation to make healthy, intelligent and rational decisions. All strong emotions will block your thoughts.
Therefore, do not make decisions when you are tired and do not let yourself be swept away by the situation. Your children should know that you are tired and need a moment for yourself. Do not try to play the role of mother or father in these moments. Do not check homework and do not try to check anything. Wait until you are more rested.
If the situation with your children degenerates and you lose your temper, count to ten and take deep breaths. You need to “restart” your mind. You can not continue like this. You can also ask your child for a “time out”, where you both go to each other’s room for a while before continuing. You need to calm down.
Take deep breaths and exhale slowly, consciously. Do this several times and count to ten. This type of breathing will help you calm down. You will probably sigh because of the prolonged exhalation, and it is a natural way for us to eliminate stress.
Sometimes you as a parent can demand too much of yourself, and you want to be perfect. This puts pressure on you, and when you see that you are failing, you will be even more annoyed. We get angry at ourselves because we are not who we would like to be or because we do not know how to handle the situation.
But you are human. If you recognize your limitations, you will also find ways to overcome them. And you will apply this to the relationship with your children. Be more patient with yourself to be more patient with them.
Children do not have the ability to be reasonable. They do not have the self-control that we adults have. And you know it. Behaving like a child will not bring you closer to their way of understanding things, nor will it help to make you understand.
Assume your role as an adult, your role as a parent, redefine your concept of discipline. Children are irrational, but you have to act differently. And if you do not know it, you have to learn it.
Many parents are used to losing their temper because they do not know how to speak in any other way. That’s why you have to practice. Imagine certain moments, put yourself in the situation, analyze the opportunities and think about how you could have acted differently.
Think about what triggers the loss of your control and do not look at the loss of your patience as an option. Instead, think of these as actions that you must take on a regular basis to keep your spirits up. You need to try to train your brain to trigger the reactions you are looking for.
